Swimming with the gentle giants (Butandings in Donsol Sorsogon)

Terrified. That was how I felt when informed that we were supposed to jump into the water and swim after the butandings (whale sharks).

No, I was not afraid of the whale sharks. They are not called gentle giants for nothing. And that is how they are… gentle. Darren, our BIO man (Not the show we used to watch when we were young… it means Butanding Information Officer!), was asking me to do two things I fear: jump… into deep water! And we were supposed to do this several times since the boat must maintain some distance from the big fish. And so with my heart thumping loudly (so it seemed),

I watched my colleagues leap into the sea. It didn't help that o
ne of them panicked for not knowing how to use a snorkelling gear.

I know how to snorkel. I have done it sev
eral times. I love seeing the colourful fishes interesting corals, etc but for the life of me, I can't get over my fear of the water. My swimming teacher told me years ago that I know how to swim but I just can't let go of a guiding hand. I subscribe this to a childhood experience of almost drowning in a swimming pool. And so there I was, with a life vest, goggles and snorkel (I abandoned the fins, dangerous for my fractured leg), battling with myself. I know I have to do this. I planned this trip. But no one told me that I have to jump!

But like any fear, it originates from dreading the unknown. I did say that this would be a year of courageous acts for me. I know I have to do this. And so I did. With the help of Harvey (our 'guide"), I braved the sea and marvelled at the sheer size yet gentle movement of the butanding. The experience beckons you to do it again and again. And so I did. Jumping into the water became easier (still with the help of our "guide"). In fact, we chased the giants of the sea. The last swim would always be etched in my memory. The pursuit brought me right above its body and tail. I could almost touch it and then it swam away.

I wish I could say that I got over my fear of the water. But no, it is still there and might be always there. Yet, I am not worried. For life, in fact, is filled with fears. The challenge for us is to overcome them one day at a time. It is when we try to conquer them that we discover magnificent things in life. I faced my fear of the water for a few hours yet the memory of the butandings would be with me for life.